4 Hard Lessons in Christian Dating

1. Humility

In dating, Proverbs 15:32 teaches us that being open to correction is key to growing in a relationship. When we listen to feedback from God, our partner, or others, instead of ignoring it, we become better partners. It’s about being humble, learning from mistakes, and improving ourselves so we can build a stronger, more loving relationship. When we’re willing to grow and change, we show respect and love in a deeper way.

“Whoever ignores discipline despises themselves, but whoever listens to correction gains understanding (Proverbs 15:32)”

2. Pride

Pride can cause more misunderstandings, lead to stubbornness and prevent us from fully listening or growing together with our partners. When pride takes in, we become too focused on ourselves or our own way, and it’s difficult to show humility, love and mutual respect which are essential qualities in any healthy relationship.

Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” This verse reminds us that pride often leads to failure or harm, both in relationships and in life. When pride takes over, it can create division, push people apart, and even cause unnecessary conflict.

In dating, letting go of pride means being willing to apologize, admit mistakes, and be open to change. It’s about putting aside our own egos and seeking unity and understanding with our partner. Humility in dating allows love and grace to flow freely, helping us build a stronger, God-centered relationship.

3. Comfort

Dating, especially as a Christian, can feel overwhelming at times, but remember, God is always with you, guiding and comforting you through each lesson and challenge. If you feel lost or discouraged, know that His love is unconditional, and He’s there to support you.

If you’re struggling with the hard lessons of dating, take comfort in knowing that every experience, even the difficult ones, helps shape you into the person God designed you to be. Trust that He has a perfect plan for you, and His timing is always right.

Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Even when things don’t go as planned, God is working behind the scenes for your good. Stay patient and trust His guidance. You’re never alone on this journey.

4. Emotional Vulnerability

It's essential for building trust and a deep connection. Opening up about your fears, past, and feelings can feel risky, especially if you've been hurt before. But the Bible encourages us to be open in love and trust that God is with us in our vulnerability. 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." When we embrace vulnerability, we invite God’s love to guide us through the uncertainties, knowing that He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Being real with each other strengthens relationships, and trusting God in those moments brings peace.

Final Thoughts

Every couple is different—struggles, communication styles, and attachment styles vary. Not all women and men interact the same way in a relationship. You need to understand where you are and how you interact and handle conflict. At the end of the day, it's important to realize that God is central to our security and significance. God’s perspective is the most important. We can only have a healthy relationship when we look to God for that security, significance, and ultimate love. Trouble arises when we expect the other person to be perfect and fill us up completely, offering us the perfect relationship. And it is not what we are striving for. What we should strive for is understanding each other’s flaws and weaknesses, but also being able to say collectively, "I love you anyway, and I think you are so awesome." Trouble comes when either partner becomes prideful, saying, "I'm awesome, I'm perfect, and I'm always right," believing they know everything. We should rely on God for strength and wisdom. Also, understand that God may break you down in order to mold you into something amazing.