5 Behaviors That Are Pushing Your Crush Away

The Attraction Paradox

When we're interested in someone, our natural instinct is to try to impress them. However, what if those very tactics are actually working against you? Based on relationship experts' observations, there are several common behaviors that many people engage in when trying to attract someone they like—behaviors that often have the opposite effect.

Let's explore the five most common mistakes people make when trying to win over their crush.

1. The Cold Shoulder Treatment

One of the most counterproductive strategies is intentionally ignoring the person you're interested in. Many people mistakenly believe that appearing aloof or disinterested will make them seem more desirable.

Why it doesn't work: When you deliberately ignore someone, they don't think, "Oh, I must try harder to get their attention!" Instead, they assume you're simply not interested or, worse, that you're rude.

What to do instead: Acknowledge them naturally when they enter a room. Offer a genuine smile and greeting. Treat them with the same warmth you would show a good friend. This approach shows that you value their presence without coming across as desperate.

2. Trying Too Hard to Impress

Have you ever noticed yourself suddenly speaking louder, telling more jokes, or dramatically changing your behavior when your crush is around? This overcompensation can come across as inauthentic and sometimes even overwhelming.

Why it doesn't work: Putting on an exaggerated performance creates distance rather than connection. It prevents the other person from getting to know the real you.

What to do instead: Focus on being your authentic self. You want someone who appreciates you for who you genuinely are, not for a performance you can't maintain long-term.

3. Excessive Teasing

A little playful banter can build rapport and show comfort with someone. However, there's a fine line between good-natured teasing and becoming the person who constantly pokes fun at others.

Why it doesn't work: What starts as playful can quickly become annoying or even hurtful. Excessive teasing can make the other person feel disrespected or like they're always the butt of the joke.

What to do instead: Balance light teasing with sincere compliments and genuine conversation. Make sure your interactions build the other person up rather than constantly challenging them.

4. Playing Hard to Get

Taking days to respond to messages, consistently being unavailable, or pretending you're not interested are classic "playing hard to get" tactics that many people still use.

Why it doesn't work: In today's busy world, most people don't have the patience for games. If you're consistently unavailable or unresponsive, they'll likely move on to someone who values their time and shows clear interest.

What to do instead: Be responsively engaged without being clingy. Respond to messages within a reasonable timeframe. Express interest clearly but without desperation.

5. Overemphasizing Your Virtues

Whether it's constantly highlighting how spiritual you are, how dedicated you are to your career, or how committed you are to fitness, overemphasizing any aspect of your personality or lifestyle can become tiresome.

Why it doesn't work: Continuously drawing attention to how devout, hardworking, or disciplined you are comes across as performative rather than genuine. It can make everyday interactions feel forced and unnatural.

What to do instead: Live your values rather than constantly talking about them. The right person will notice your authentic character through your actions, not your declarations.

Finding the Balance

The key to genuinely connecting with someone you're interested in is moderation. Being yourself doesn't mean abandoning all strategy—it means engaging with others in a way that feels natural and sustainable.

Remember that attraction isn't about performing or playing games. It's about creating genuine moments of connection that allow both people to see if there's authentic compatibility.

Moving Forward

If you recognize that you've been making some of these mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. Most of us fall into these patterns because we care—perhaps too much—about making a good impression.

The next time you interact with someone you're interested in, try to be mindful of these tendencies. Take a deep breath, relax, and focus on having a genuine exchange rather than trying to strategize your way into their heart.

After all, the most attractive quality isn't perfection—it's authenticity coupled with kindness and respect.

Have you caught yourself doing any of these behaviors? What strategies have worked better for you when connecting with someone you're interested in? Share your experiences in our facebook and instagram pages!

This article is based on relationship psychology and common dating pitfalls observed by experts. The advice applies universally, regardless of age, gender, or cultural background.