Expectation vs. Reality of Love in Relationships
Over time, the intensity of emotions may fade, and couples may struggle to find the same connection they had in the beginning. This shift often causes confusion about what love really is, leading to unmet expectations.
DATING
3/29/20254 min read
Understanding Love in Marriage
When we first enter a relationship, especially as young couples or newlyweds, there’s a lot of excitement. The feeling of love seems endless, and it’s easy to believe that this passion will remain forever. However, reality often brings a shift. In this article, we’ll explore the difference between the expectations and reality of love in relationships, drawing inspiration from biblical principles to guide us toward a deeper understanding.
1. The Illusion of Perfect Love in the Beginning
At the start of a relationship, the feeling of love often feels all-consuming. It’s easy to mistake the initial thrill and excitement for true, enduring love. However, as time passes and life settles into a routine, many couples begin to realize that the passionate love they felt early on is not the same love that sustains a marriage.
This is where the difference between expectation and reality becomes apparent. Expecting that the honeymoon phase will last forever can lead to frustration when life’s realities, like work pressures, financial struggles, or even having children, start to interfere with the once-perfect dynamic.
2. The Role of Passion in Relationships
In the early stages of dating, passion is often the driving force behind the relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of physical attraction and emotional highs. But passion alone cannot sustain a marriage.
As couples navigate the challenges of daily life, the relationship shifts from being solely about passion to becoming about companionship, commitment, and shared responsibilities. Passion may still play a role, but it is no longer the foundation of the relationship. This shift can be challenging for those who expect love to always feel as intense as it did in the early stages.
3. The Three Types of Love: A Deeper Understanding
In Greek philosophy, love is categorized into three types: eros (romantic love), philia (friendship), and agape (selfless, unconditional love). While romantic love (eros) and friendship (philia) are essential in any relationship, agape is the type of love that truly sustains a marriage.
Agape love is about commitment, selflessness, and the willingness to serve and support your partner through thick and thin. This love is grounded in the belief that love is a choice, not just a feeling. It’s about putting your partner’s needs before your own, especially during difficult times.
4. Real Love Endures Through Trials
One of the most powerful examples of real love is when it endures through hardship. The speaker in the original transcript shares a personal experience about his second child’s birth, which was accompanied by health challenges and a difficult recovery process. In this time of struggle, love was tested. But it was through the difficult moments that the true nature of love was revealed.
True love doesn’t disappear when challenges arise. In fact, it is often in these moments of struggle that love becomes even more profound. Real love is about choosing to be there for your partner, even when the circumstances aren’t ideal.
5. Biblical Love: The Foundation of a Strong Marriage
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible outlines what true love looks like. It says that love is patient, kind, and does not envy or boast. It is not self-seeking and keeps no record of wrongs. Love protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres through all things. This kind of love is the foundation for any healthy, lasting marriage.
As the speaker points out, when we try to build a marriage based solely on passion or emotion, it will eventually crumble. But when we understand that love is about patience, kindness, and selflessness, we can build a marriage that will withstand the test of time.
6. Love in Marriage: The Need for Fulfillment from Within
One of the key points emphasized in the video is that many marital issues arise when one partner expects the other to fulfill all their emotional needs. In reality, no one person can carry the weight of meeting all of another person’s expectations.
The secret to a lasting, fulfilling marriage is understanding that love doesn’t come from your partner alone. As the speaker advises, you need to first be filled with love from God. When you understand and experience God’s unconditional love for you, you can then pour that love into your marriage. This gives you the strength and patience to love your partner, not because they are perfect, but because you are rooted in the love that God has for you.
7. Conclusion: True Love is More Than Just Passion
While passion is an important part of any relationship, it is not the foundation of lasting love. True love in marriage is built on commitment, patience, and selflessness. It is a love that endures through trials and is grounded in the teachings of the Bible.
When we understand that love is a choice, not just a feeling, we can build marriages that last a lifetime. Whether you are dating, engaged, or married, remembering that love requires effort, sacrifice, and grace will help you navigate the challenges of life and relationship.
If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with others who may benefit from understanding the deeper meaning of love in relationships. Subscribe to our newsletter for more insights on marriage, faith, and building strong relationships.