Why We Struggle to Change Even When We Know What to Do

Have you ever found yourself stuck, knowing exactly what you should do, but still unable to change? You’re not alone. Many of us wrestle with areas in our lives where knowledge alone doesn't lead to transformation. Here's why—and what you can do about it.

1. Knowledge Alone Isn’t Enough

We often assume that if we learn more, we will behave better. While information can sometimes spark change, the truth is that most of our daily actions are not driven by conscious knowledge. Studies suggest that up to 90% of the choices we make every day are subconscious.

This means that what you know plays a much smaller role in your behavior than what you love.

2. Your Loves Shape Your Actions

Our actions are deeply connected to what we desire and love, not just what we understand. Think about it: most people know that certain foods or habits are harmful, yet still choose them. Why? Because those things are tied to meaningful memories, emotions, and deeper attachments.

For example, a soda might remind you of birthday parties, family gatherings, or joyful childhood moments. Those emotional connections often outweigh the intellectual knowledge of its negative effects.

3. Habits and "Liturgies" Form Your Heart

The things we do repeatedly—the songs we listen to, the shows we watch, the conversations we have—create a kind of "liturgy" in our lives. These daily rituals, whether we realize it or not, shape what we love and, consequently, how we behave.

Every home, school, and community has its own patterns and rhythms that mold our affections over time.

4. How to Change: Transform Your Liturgies

Real transformation happens when you intentionally change the daily inputs shaping your heart.

• Adjust what you listen to.

• Be mindful of the conversations you engage in.

• Choose books, podcasts, and videos that align with the life you want to build.

• Surround yourself with people and environments that cultivate the values you seek.

Small, consistent changes in your environment and habits will gradually rewire your desires and lead to lasting change.

5. It's About Loving the Right Things

Ultimately, change is less about knowing more and more about loving better.
When your heart loves what is good, true, and beautiful, your actions will naturally begin to follow.

Don't just seek to learn—seek to love the right things.